Christmas in His Bed Read online

  “That’d be the neighborly thing to do.” He brushed past her, elbowing the door shut behind him.

  “Right. Neighborly,” she tried not to snap. Why was he surveying the room?

  Why did he have to have that ass?

  Her anger died a little. It was really hard to hate him while thoroughly appreciating the way his jeans hugged the muscles of his thighs. And his ass. That was definitely worth a long, thorough inspection. She swallowed, forcing her eyes up before he saw her. But he was still looking around the house, curious. “What are you looking for?”

  He turned, his blue gaze pinning hers, and shook his head. “Nothing.”

  Obviously he was lying. It was clear he was looking for something. But what. His gaze was far too...intense and probing. And more than a little unsettling. More than a little...affecting. But words wouldn’t come.

  “Home for the holidays?” he asked, his voice deep and rough.

  She mumbled, “Yes.” Then added, “And no.” Why was she answering him? Why wasn’t she telling him to leave?

  His crooked grin caused her heart to thump heavily in her chest. Not the most reassuring response. “That’s cryptic.” He shook his head.

  Maybe it was, but she didn’t feel the need to say more. Yet she couldn’t seem to manage, “Get out now,” so she stood there, her awareness increasing and the silence stretching out. He sighed, that gaze never leaving her face. She couldn’t seem to look away. Or think. A cold shower was definitely in her future. Or Chris. Lots of Chris time.

  He was saying something, but her mind was too busy processing everything to hear him. Oh, God. In less than thirty minutes she’d gone from content to distressed. And it was all Spencer’s fault. Again.

  “I’d offer to stay across the street at my mom’s but she’s got a full house, with the holidays and all.” His words were soft, echoing in her ears.

  She frowned at him, wrapping her arms around her waist. “One of us needs to find a hotel.”

  “I haven’t slept in a few days, Tatum. I’d appreciate one night in my own bed. I’m not here much—the empty fridge and pantry can confirm that. I’ll stay out of your way.” He did look tired. His blue eyes were bloodshot and there were bags under his eyes. “I don’t even snore.”

  “Spencer—”

  “I can move into your room,” he offered.

  He was sleeping in her parents’ room. Which was good—she wasn’t ready to go there. Any and all memories of her mom could wait behind that closed door for a few more days. “No,” she said. “I w-wouldn’t sleep in there.”

  “I’m sorry about your mom,” he said, grabbing her attention.

  Tatum nodded. She hadn’t visited Greyson since her mother’s death three years before. “It’s strange to be here and have it so quiet.” She shrugged, not wanting to share with him.

  But Spencer had known better than most about her mother and her fits of temper. When she’d been on a real tear, her mother could be heard all up and down Maple Drive. Her mother’s anger and bitterness had been one of the reasons she’d gone to live with her father her senior year of high school. Spencer had been the other.

  “You look good, Tatum.” His voice pitched low, all gravel.

  She was acutely aware of the way his eyes leisurely swept her from head to toe. When his attention returned to her face, his jaw was locked. Was that disapproval on his face? Or—her heart was thumping—was it something else? She didn’t know how to read the tension that rolled off of him. But it was unnerving as hell. His gaze narrowed, piercing hers. What was he trying to figure out?

  “Tatum?” Her name. His voice. She felt a shudder run down her back.

  “No, I don’t.” Her words spilled from her lips. She looked like hell and she knew it. “You look different,” she admitted. Different was an understatement. Even if her response to him was the same: hyperaware. When he was close, she’d felt it. Right now, she was feeling all sorts of things that made her nervous and excited and tense. Dammit.

  He cocked a questioning eyebrow her way.

  She shrugged. “There’s...more of you.” Including abs and tattoos and the lovely dark happy trail disappearing beneath his waistband. She needed to stop talking—and thinking—immediately. Instead, she stared at his chest, encased in a skintight gray shirt and leather jacket. What was absolutely terrifying was how badly her fingers itched to explore him. No. No exploring. Evicting. Immediate evicting.

  He laughed. “More of me?”

  His laughter rolled over her, leaving her tingling in all the right places. Dammit. It was cruel that he’d turned out even more beautiful than she remembered. And completely unfair. He’d broken her heart, made her doubt her judgment and left her unbelieving she was worthy of love.

  How dare he stand there, teasing her, acting like he wasn’t the bad guy. She knew better. It wasn’t like he was just some dangerously good-looking man making her house all festive while waking up every one of her lady-part nerves. If only that were the case.

  “Tatum?” he whispered, coming to stand in front of her. “You okay?”

  She nodded. Her attention wandered to his mouth, leaving her breathless. Would his touch feel the same? His lips had branded her skin, magic against her lips... No, she wasn’t okay. If she was, she wouldn’t be dragging up memories better left buried.

  Besides, he didn’t deserve to touch her. To kiss her. And she needed to stop thinking of that. Of him—naked. Of what she wanted to do to him—naked. This was Spencer. And the two of them would not be getting naked together.

  Even if he is way more exciting than my vibrator. The thought sent another shudder through her.

  “You cold?” His voice was gruff and rumbling—shaking her to the core.

  “No,” she managed, her tongue thick and her throat tight. She wasn’t cold. For the first time in a long time, she was feeling delectably hot. The only problem with this scenario was he was the one making her feel this way.

  She stepped around him, hoping to quiet the desire surging through her veins. Her overstimulated reaction to him made no sense. She didn’t like him. Maybe this is what happens when you go for more than a year without sex? “But I need something to drink and you need to...to go to bed,” she said, glancing at him. “One night,” she added, knowing she was a coward. But it was after midnight, cold, and she wasn’t heartless.

  “Okay. One night. I’ll crash here tonight and look into staying somewhere else while you’re in town.” He was staring at her again. “If you’re sure Brent won’t mind?”

  She nodded. Brent so won’t mind. She headed into the kitchen, deliberately avoiding his gaze. She could sleep under the same roof; she could be an adult. But she wasn’t going to talk about her marriage or her divorce with him.

  He followed her. “Why is it so cold in here? Pilot light go out again?” he asked, rubbing his hands together. “Brent couldn’t get it to work?”

  “The heat won’t come on.” She pointed at the fireplace over her shoulder. “But at least I got the fire going, even if I did burn my thumb and singe some hair.” She held her thumb up.

  She hadn’t expected him to cradle her hand in his or hold up her thumb for a thorough inspection. She wanted to yank her hand away and scowl at him... No, she didn’t. Which was worse.

  His gaze locked with hers. “Some homecoming.” His hold went from reassuring to overwhelming. “I am sorry about tonight. Not the way I’d imagined seeing you again.” His words shook her. The rhythmic stroke of his thumb along her wrist turned her insides fluid.

  Not the way I’d imagined seeing you again.

  She blew out a deep breath. “It’s...it’s fine.” Her words were a raspy whisper but she managed to pull her hand from his. No touching. Touching was bad. And more space was good too. She stepped back, wrapping her arms around her waist. “I...I can
call a repairman in the morning.”

  He glanced at her hand, then back at her, his eyes narrowing. “I’ll fix it before we go to bed.”

  We go to bed. She swallowed, staring at the floor so her face wouldn’t betray her thoughts. “Thanks.”

  “What’s going on?” he asked softly.

  “What do you mean?” She knew what he meant. But her life was none of his business. And, dammit, she was having a hard time thinking straight with him standing there staring at her that way. She needed to stay cool. And keep him at arm’s length. So she busied herself in the kitchen, pulling out the milk, a saucepan and some cocoa packets.

  He followed her, standing too close. “You’re here alone, basically in the dark, without heat. Alone.”

  She put the kettle on the burner, her hands and her voice unsteady. “Did you have to say that twice?” she asked.

  “I guess that’s the thing I’m most hung up on,” he confessed.

  He was standing behind her, his warmth rolling over her. “It is?” She glanced back at him, the questions in his gaze enough to turn her back to cocoa making. “I assure you, you don’t need to be hung up on anything that has to do with me, okay?” She tried to sound flippant but it didn’t work.

  “Old habits die hard. I know how to read you. I always have.” There was an edge to his voice.

  “Maybe. When we were kids,” she agreed. But they definitely weren’t kids anymore. And even if he had known what she was thinking—wanting—before she had, didn’t mean he did now. That was a long time ago. “Right now I want cocoa. And peace and quiet.” She spun around to face him, shoving the mug into his hand. “Good night.”

  “Trying to get rid of me?” he asked, glancing at the mug she’d placed in his hands before leveling her with the weight of his gaze once more.

  “I didn’t realize that was unclear.”

  He chuckled.

  She was very proud that she didn’t smile at him. Because his smile was hard to resist. He was hard to resist. Because, honestly, she would happily replace her swirly purple battery-operated love machine with this new manlier version of Spencer. She choked on her sip of cocoa. Please, God, don’t let him figure out what I’m thinking. And wanting.

  “Brent’s not here.” He paused. “You’re alone.” He swallowed, his gaze searching her face as he leaned forward, placing his mug on the counter, his large hands on either side of her—effectively pinning her against the counter.

  “So?” She didn’t deny it. She was alone. She was relieved her out-of-control hunger for him had somehow escaped his notice. But now that she was so close, that wouldn’t last for long. Her heart was slamming against her ribs and breathing was becoming increasingly difficult. Because breathing drew in his scent, his tantalizing, captivating, enticing scent.

  “And there’s this.” He pointed at her, then himself—stepping so close that his breath fanned her hair. “There’s still a hell of a...connection between the two of us.” He practically growled the words. Her body tightened, expectant, at the sound of his undeniable hunger.

  For her.

  His attention wandered to her mouth, leaving no doubt what he wanted. He felt it too. Of course he did.

  She could sway into him, give in... But she should fight it. Even if his lips were so close. “Yes.” It took a lot of effort to form a coherent answer.

  “Yes?” he repeated, his nostrils flaring as his gaze locked with hers.

  “Yes. I am alone.” Her voice wavered.

  He shook his head, the muscle in his jaw hard as rock. “That’s all?” he asked. “I won’t touch another man’s wife.” He ground out the words. “But, dammit, I want to kiss you so bad it hurts.”

  Kiss me. She stared at him, gripped by a crushing, desperate ache. Touch me. “I’m no man’s wife. But I don’t want you to kiss me,” she whispered.

  2

  SPENCER STARED DOWN at her, his nerves strung so tight he worried he’d pop.

  Tatum was here.

  And all he could think about was touching her, tasting her. Silk. Warmth. Pure temptation. And even though he had no right to touch her, to think of her tangled up with him, he couldn’t stop himself. His body responded to her without reason, as if they hadn’t been living separate lives for years.

  Her quiver revealed her lie. She wasn’t immune to him.

  “I don’t believe you,” he argued.

  She drew in a wavering breath. “I don’t care what you believe.” There was an edge to her voice. She wasn’t immune to him—but she was going to fight it.

  Her green eyes clashed with his and he smiled at her. This was Tatum. The girl who’d stolen his heart, the girl he’d lived for. The girl he’d crushed, shredding his own heart in the process. He’d missed her every day for the last eight years.

  He reached up, smoothing an errant curl from her forehead. “Your hair is longer.”

  She didn’t say anything as he threaded the curl between his fingers. The curl coiled around him, clinging to him the way he envisioned her clinging to him.

  “So is yours,” she whispered.

  A woman alone protects herself. He’d heard her. No man’s wife. For the first time, nothing was stopping them. Except maybe the defiance in her gaze.

  He saw the way she looked at his mouth, the way her lips parted and her hands tightened on the counter’s edge. There was a restlessness about her he’d never seen in her before. She was nervous... That was obvious. Hell, he was nervous. But it was more than that. It was their past. What he’d done was reprehensible. Could she still hate him so much that she couldn’t bear to be close to him?

  Or did she hate that she still wanted him?

  From the look on her face, it’d be all too easy to assume it was the latter. Because that was what he wanted. Badly. The way she was looking at him now, flushed and dazed, focused on his mouth... He hadn’t been this hard since he was sixteen.

  He stepped forward, erasing the small space between them. His thumbs ran along her jawline, tracing the soft skin of her neck and the shell of her ear. She closed her eyes, her lips parted, her breath escaping on unsteady gasps. He watched her response, her arousal driving him crazy. “How long?” he asked, his tone soft.

  Her green eyes fluttered open. “How long?” she repeated, breathless.

  “Since you’ve been...kissed.” He bit out the last word. “How long has it been since a man’s loved your body?”

  “My body is none of your business.” But the tremor in her voice told him he wasn’t imagining this. Her hands gripped the counter edge as if she was holding herself back. She wanted him, even if she didn’t want to accept it.

  “And it’s a damn shame,” he murmured, longing to pry her hands from the counter, to feel her fingers slide through his hair. Before he was through, she’d be holding on to him.

  He smiled as his lips brushed her startled mouth—featherlight, a whisper of a touch. She shuddered as his nose traced the length of her neck. “You smell just as sweet,” he murmured. He sucked her earlobe into his mouth, her little sigh making the hair on the back of his neck stand up straight. “You taste the same.” It was true. And it was torture. When he pressed her back, pinning her hips against the cabinets, the feel of her curves against him almost brought him to his knees.

  His mouth brushed hers once, still teasing. He tilted her head back, nipping her lower lip. Her lips were so damn soft. He pulled, sucking her plump lower lip until her lips parted. The tip of her tongue...stroking the curve of his lip. Damn.

  He groaned, leaning into her, sealing her mouth with his and sliding his tongue into the hot recesses of her mouth. Her hand tangled in his hair, anchoring him firmly so she could deepen their kiss. And she did, the touch of her satin tongue making him groan. Her sudden hunger spurred him on. He gripped her hips, lifting her onto the
kitchen counter. She wrapped a leg around his waist and pulled him close—arching into him.

  His kiss wasn’t gentle; his tongue demonstrated exactly what he wanted from her. And the soft moan, her grip on his hair, told him she wanted it too. His hold on her hips tightened as he ground against her. He tore his mouth from hers, groaning against the hollow of her throat at the building friction between them. She cried out when his mouth latched on to her neck. He devoured her, holding her tightly, wanting more.

  It had always been this way with her. All that mattered was the feel of her, her response, the way she touched him.

  But as quickly as she reached for him, she withdrew. Her hold went from clinging to pushing against his chest. “Spencer,” she gasped. Fighting this—fighting him. He heard her deep, unsteady inhalation as she attempted to put some space between them.

  Space he didn’t want. He stepped back, breathing hard.

  “Spencer,” she repeated. Her voice was low and husky.

  He looked at her. God, he wanted her. He hurt from wanting her. He was breathing heavy and losing control. He knew it, but he couldn’t apologize for it. She drove him crazy, made him lose his head. She always had.

  “If we’re doing this... It’s one time.” Her eyes bored into his. “Only once.”

  He frowned, cupping her face in his hands. “Once?” He’d been half expecting her to tell him to leave. Now she was telling him they were going to have sex. But only once?

  “I don’t want to think...” She paused, her voice unsteady. “I want to feel alive...to feel something.”

  Her words cut through him. He didn’t know what had happened with her marriage. Had she been mistreated? Heartbroken? She wanted one night, nothing more. And could he handle that, with the history they had, the feelings he still harbored? He knew one thing: refusing her was impossible.

  Her green eyes bored into his, waiting, searching—and hungry.